Pins and Feathers
by Utilitarian
Summary: When Leafa joins the SAO veterans in their attempt to clear New Aincrad Castle, they're faced with a new challenge, and the winner will be granted an item that can alter the soul of any player logged in. With a six month time limit, Leafa and her companions race to the top to destroy the prize before it can be used-as long as they can trust each other not to use it themselves...
1. The Brain in the Vat

**Pins and Feathers**

**Chapter 1: The Brain in the Vat**

It must be like therapy—at least in the sense that accident victims can find release in watching videos of car crashes. They say that the way the mind works, the more you confront trauma the less it hurts. If you're afraid of dogs, snuggle up with one for a few nights. By the end of the week it'll be your best friend. That's why they reprogrammed Aincrad Castle into the sky above The World Tree. It's been over a year since my stepbrother Kazuto—Kirito, in this world—cleared the game, but without all 100 floors complete, a lot of the survivors still don't feel like it's really over. They need that sense of closure before they can really return home.

What I think is, I've been watching Kirito and Asuna together all night, and that therapy through desensitization idea is a load of crap.

They fight together like they're finishing each other's sentences. Really, it's more like they're the same person. Neither of them have to speak. Somehow they know on instinct what the other will do. They're almost more dancers than fighters. Just as beautiful, too. Maybe even more.

Me, I'm partnered up with Agil, and if there's a more awkward pair doing battle together on the net, send them my condolences. We're constantly shouting directions to one another. I'm stumbling over him. He's stumbling over me. Out of the corner of my eye I see Asuna spiral through the air as she switches in to take advantage of the hole Kirito opened in a monster's defense. No words necessary. And I wonder, if I had partnered up with Kirito instead, could I have done that?

Where we are is floor 76 of Aincrad Castle—the first floor that wasn't cleared the first time the game was played. There's no death penalty this time around—at least not one that really matters—but all of the old Sword Art Online veterans are on edge. They smile and laugh, sure, but it's the kind of weak grin you show when you're trying to pretend you're not having flashbacks to the worst nightmare you can imagine. The kind of laugh the accident victim lets out when she's shown a video of her crash, and she tells herself, "You know, it really wasn't that bad," but the way her eyes can't focus say what she really means: "I just need to get through this."

I look at Kirito swinging his swords and all I can think is, I just need to get through this.

The floor itself is pretty spectacular. It's set up like a giant orchard, but everything in it is made of different kinds of crystal. There are crystal trees and crystal bushes. The paths are made of a cloudier crystal, but it's clear enough to reflect the moon. Catch a glimpse of a crystal leaf in just the right light, and it shines a rainbow spectrum on everything around it. Even the monsters here are made of crystal.

It might be the most beautiful place I've ever seen, but I can't find it in myself to care. What I feel like is the new kid in the guild. All those SAO veterans, this whole raid is for them. They fought together in this castle for two years. Watched their friends die here. They've got a bond with Kirito that I will never be able to understand.

In Alfheim Online, I'm one of the top ranked Sylph. Here in Aincrad, I'm just kind of along for the ride.

Agil and I try to get that teamwork thing down for another hour before our raiding party finds the floor's boss door. I wonder if he'd rather be partied up with some of the original SAO players, but even with us stepping on each other's toes, if he's upset he doesn't show it. He walks up to the door and rests his hand on it like he's touching a grave. "This is where we'd report back," he says.

Some of the other veterans nod. If things had been tense before, suddenly everything's solemn. Those of us who hadn't played SAO try to empathize, but if they're like me, they can't quite get it. No matter how hard I try, I can't imagine looking at a door and knowing that what was on the other side could kill me. I can't imagine knowing it could kill somebody I loved.

Klein steps up next to him. "Almost feels like we should go back," he says, but then he shrugs. "No point to that now, though."

Agil nods. "Still doesn't feel right just walking in." He turns to face the gathered players—about fifty of us in all, including both people who were trapped in SAO and players like me who are just tagging along—and waves everybody into a semi-circle in front of the door. Agil is about the biggest man I've ever seen, and when he's calling for an audience, he gets one. "Before we continue, I want to say a few words."

He clears his throat and pauses. Finally, he says, "Just a few weeks ago, the last of our friends who stood next to us in Sword Art Online returned home." He waves towards Asuna and smiles. Several hands pat her on the back, and when she blushes she looks so pretty that I want to cry. "Unfortunately, not all of our brothers and sisters are with us today. Many of them won't be with us again. Before we begin our journey to the top of this castle, I want all of you to remember that whatever happened in that game is finished. If you fall in battle here today, or somewhere on the next twenty-five floors, that doesn't mean you would have been killed back then. This journey is supposed to be fun—to finish what we started three years ago. To win our final battle against the man that took two years of our lives."

Everybody cheers. I'm cheering, too. "Remember the friends we lost in this tower," Agil continues, "but also remember that this is a chance to make new friends. With us today are many players who have joined us from Alfheim Online." This time, he points to me. When I blush, I don't look nearly as good as Asuna. "This is Kirito's sister, Leafa. She's just one of many newcomers joining us tonight. Make them feel welcome. We can never replace those we lost, but we can always make new bonds." There's more cheering, and Agil lets it die out on its own. When it's quiet, he turns back towards the door. "Alright then," he says. "Asuna. Kirito. Would you do the honors?"

People still look nervous, but they all flash their first full smile of the night when Asuna and Kirito step up to the door. They're holding hands while they push. Even as I wish it were me up there, I can't help but smile with them.

When the door is opened everybody rushes in. The boss's room is all crystal like the orchard outside, but instead of rows of trees there's just one giant one in the center. It's almost like a smaller version of The World Tree. Everything in the room is covered in rainbows. "Be careful," Kirito says, and both of his swords are drawn.

The boss doesn't jump out. The battle music isn't playing. When nothing happens, we start moving slowly towards the crystal tree. Agil keeps his eyes on it when he says, "Are you ready, Leafa?"

"Yeah," I say. My sword is drawn, but I'm watching Kirito push forward instead of looking for the boss.

"You don't seem focused."

I don't know how he can tell, but he's the only one who seems to notice. Up ahead, Recon is readying a healing spell. Players on all sides are preparing for the fight. The boss still hasn't appeared. "Let's just get through this."

The door begins to seal shut behind us. It grates against the crystal floor, and the harsh squeal of the grinding sounds like a whistle. A few of the veterans look scared, but they laugh it off when they realize there's no real danger. "Alright," he says, but the way it comes out, he doesn't seem satisfied.

Kirito reaches the tree. Asuna is a few steps behind him, and she's trying to look through the branches. With all the reflections, anything could be hidden up there. They wait, and they wait some more, and nothing happens.

After about five minutes, Asuna gives up and turns away from the tree. "I don't think this is working," she says. "Could the room be glitched?"

By now a lot of the players have let their weapons slack. A few of the Alfheim players are sitting down. Next to me, Agil checks to make sure the logout function still works. It does. "Maybe it's part of the fight?"

Kirito shakes his head. "I don't think so. The game was tough, but it was fair. There were a few surprises, but waiting five minutes to spawn a boss doesn't feel like—"

The sky above us turns red. It's not like a sunset—it's a dark crimson that looks so thick you'd get lost flying through it. The rainbow reflections shooting out from the tree change to look like blood spots. Some of the players start screaming.

A hooded man appears from out of the clouds. His robes are even redder than the sky. Kirito looks like he's about to take off to fight him, but Asuna grabs his arm. She looks scared, and not the kind of scared you get just playing a game.

"Welcome back to Aincrad Castle," the hooded man says. "For those of you whom I have not had the pleasure to meet, my name is Kayaba Akihiko."

Whether they played SAO or not, everybody in the room has to know who that is. He was the man who created the game. The one who killed over 2,000 people. Who stole my brother. My sword is gripped so tight in my hand I'm sure it's going to break.

"If you are a returning player here today," he continues, "I must congratulate you. While I have already expressed this to Kirito, you played through Sword Art Online from the very beginning to the very end. That deserves recognition. If this is your first time in my world, then I welcome you."

I can't begin to imagine what the veterans feel. I wasn't trapped with them, but just from having heard the stories about what happened, my heart is pounding. Maybe it's the adrenaline thinking for me, but I want to drive my sword through Akihiko's hood. Kirito looks like he wants to do the same, but he shakes his head when I look at him.

"I'm sure many of you are angry with me. That's fine. However, I feel I must come before you in person to deliver my message. If you do not want to listen, you may log out now. You are not and will not be trapped in this castle again."

Left and right, more people check to see if they can still log out. A few of them leave. Most of them just make sure it's there and then close their menus. I check mine, and everything seems to be working the way it should. More than anything I want to sign out, but as long as Kirito stays, I won't. Even if it meant being trapped for years in game, I'd rather be in here with him than outside waiting helpless while he fought for his life.

"I'm sure you are all wondering what is happening," Akihiko says. When Kazuto was trapped, I spent hours imagining what I would say to the man responsible. I imagined telling him he was a monster. That I'd like nothing more than to watch him die. That if I had the chance I'd kill him myself. With him actually in front of me, I couldn't say anything. "As you have likely guessed, this encounter wasn't programmed into the original version of Sword Art Online. However, now that the game has been reborn, I've seen it fitting to change the stakes."

Kirito leads Asuna closer to where I'm standing. I've never been more angry, or scared, but even through it all I have to try not to smile—I'm second fiddle to Asuna, but he cares enough to keep me close. Even closer than the other veterans.

Klein sidesteps his way over to us, and whispers just loud enough to Kirito that I can hear, "Didn't you kill him?"

"Yeah," Kirito says. "That's not really him. At least, not the way we knew him before."

Akihiko doesn't pay attention to the people talking below him. Over players shouting threats and curses at him, he says, "The next 24 floors will play very similarly to how they would have played in the original version of Sword Art Online—with some additional rules. Your goal is still to reach the Scarlet Jade Castle on the hundredth floor, and I will still be your final challenge. But without the threat of death upon failure, your motivation for reaching the top must be changed. So too must your reward."

He extends his hand, and from out of his palm floats what look like a golden set of stonemason's tools—pins and feathers. "Being able to create is the only true freedom we have, both in the physical and the virtual worlds. I have created the world of Sword Art Online, and it has evolved to become more than even I had imagined possible on the day I wrote its first line of code. But my power stops within the virtual realm. To create in the physical world, I must turn to you."

The golden tools float higher into the sky. "A block of marble can not become David until it has been fractured. Only by carving away at the stone does it become a statue. I offer the tools necessary to cut that stone to the first player to defeat me in the Scarlet Jade Castle."

The crowd murmurs when the tools begin to glow. Kirito says nothing, so I say nothing. I don't know anything about statues or carving stone, but whatever it is Akihiko is talking about, Kirito's gritted teeth tell me it can't be good. "I'm sure," Akihiko continues, "you have all heard about the Alfheim Online scandal. While the quest to climb the World Tree was posed within the game as the players' ultimate goal, Nobuyuki Sugou was using it as his personal research facility. He studied the mind, and kept 300 players from Sword Art Online as test subjects in order to find a way to control peoples' feelings and memories. He attempted to control the human soul."

He gestures up to the tools floating above him, and the light shining from them is almost blinding. It's like staring into a truck's high beams on a moonless night. "These are the Pins and Feathers of Sugou Nobuyuki. He failed in his quest, but his dream lives on, and I pass it now to you. These tools will be granted to the first player to clear the Scarlet Jade Castle. They will give you the ability to put his research to use. With them, you can permanently alter the soul of any person linked in to the net."

Power like that could change the world. I use my FullDive gear to play games. Really, I've always used if for Kazuto. But even with the SAO tragedy and the ALO scandal, FullDive has taken the world by storm. It can be used for gaming, sure, but how many other applications are there? Militaries use them. Doctors use them. Therapists. At any time there are millions of people hooked up to the network. Us gamers, we're just a small chunk of the pie.

"Before your climb begins, we need to set up some ground rules." Akihiko lowers his hand, and the golden tools disappear. "First, the quest for the Pins and Feathers of Sugou Nobuyuki has been flagged for every registered player in the game. Anybody who can log in will have the opportunity to face me on the hundredth floor. Second, there is a death penalty."

A few people gasp, but otherwise the murmuring stops. Some of the people in the room look so scared that they couldn't move to log themselves out if they wanted to. "The data for Aincrad Castle has been isolated and transferred to my private servers. If at any point you are killed in game during your climb, you will be unable to access the Aincrad Castle zones. Your quest will be over."

"Further," he continues, "starting on the next floor, your FullDive gear's pain absorber will be dropped one level for every two floors you traverse. It will start on the next floor at level nine. On floor 79, it will be dropped to eight. On floor 89 it will have reached level three, and on floor 95 it will turn off completely and remain disabled for the final five floors. While death in Aincrad Castle does not necessarily equate to death in the physical world, I feel it prudent to notify you that once level three is reached, injury in game begins to translate to damage to your physical body."

Other players begin to log out, and I don't blame them. Akihiko calls this a game, but it sounds more like torture. The reward was a weapon, and I wouldn't be willing to trust anybody so desperate that they would fight through five floors without a pain absorber with a tool that could rewire a person's mind. Then again, what would I do with it?

What would I do _for _it?

"Finally, I have one last rule. This quest must be completed within six months. If the Scarlet Jade Castle has not been cleared within exactly six months from this moment, I will use the Pins and Feathers of Sugou Nobuyuki to completely wipe the minds of every person hooked into a FullDive system at the time of the item's use and any time following."

Agil grunts, but he doesn't move to attack. "That would be the end of FullDive technology."

"All of those people," Kirito says, more to himself than as a response to Agil. "He'd wipe all of those people."

I want to tell him that it'll be alright. That he'll save the day, just like he always does. He's the hero, after all. It's what he does. But the way he refuses to use a shield catches the words in my throat. He's not a defensive fighter. He takes hits when he shouldn't. Without a pain dampener, reaching the top will cripple him.

And I know him well enough to know that he doesn't care.

Akihiko begins to rise into the sky. Slowly, he fades away. Before he disappears completely, his voice floats through the air as if he were standing right there with us. "Good luck."

Like magic, the stairway to the next floor appears in the trunk of the giant crystal tree. Nobody moves towards it. It's silent still, as if what we all saw was a hallucination or a nightmare, and no one wants the other players to think they're crazy. I just want to go home.

Kirito though—he's looking at the stairs, and I don't have to ask him to know what he's thinking. He'll climb it. He'll climb the whole damn tower. And if he goes, Asuna goes.

I go, too.

I'll follow him all the way up. I'd follow him anywhere, pain absorber or not. And in the end, we can't let Akihiko use that item. We can't let another player win it, either. Because nothing good can come from giving somebody the ability to alter another person's soul.

And when somebody puts that much power in the palm of your hand, how can you not use it?


	2. Behind the Counter

**Chapter 2: Behind the Counter**

When Agil was trapped in that game, his wife dropped everything to keep his cafe running. Supposedly she used to be a big-shot corporate agent here in the city—the kind who can strut down mud caked sidewalks like they're walking on red carpets, and who wear suits that cost more than my mother's mortgage. Word is she slashed a couple of zeros off of her paycheck and spent two years slaving away behind his counter just so he'd have a place to come back to when he woke up. A lot of people who hear that story call her an idiot.

I've never met her, but right now I think she's the only person in the world I can really empathize with.

We're all sitting in Agil's cafe, and with all of us gathered, the place is packed. Just about every original SAO player in the city has shown up. Then there's me. There are a few other Alfheim players scattered about the crowd here and there—Eugene is nursing a whiskey and Coke, and the woman who plays Alicia just stepped back in from a smoke—but for the most part it feels more like a family reunion than a strategy meeting, and we're distant cousins at best.

Or maybe it's just me.

Back when Kazuto was in the hospital, I visited him almost every day. I skipped kendo club at least twice a week so I could have my time with him. We'd drifted apart before he got stuck online, but after I lost him I felt more connected to him than ever. After all those kendo practices I missed, my game fell off pretty hard. I still managed to be a national quarter-finalist, but the longer Kazuto was in the hospital the more my technique slipped.

That's alright. Truth is, you only have enough room in you to care about so much. Whether it's a cushy corporate job or being a national kendo finalist, sometimes you have to step back from the dream and do your time working behind the counter.

Ever since Kazuto came back, that's where I've been—behind the counter.

What's funny is all that time he was gone, and I felt like I was getting closer, he was off falling in love with somebody else. Between us, he was the only one who was really living. I was spending my hours talking to a body.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't hate Asuna. Honestly, I really like her. But that doesn't mean I can't resent her.

Kazuto too, in a way. Because he knows I love him. Because even as we're gathered, he sits up there on his stool, resting his back against the bar, and he's got Asuna next to him, and with a straight face he seems to look all of us dead in the eyes at the same time and says, "I know, but we have to do this."

We've been arguing about what happened last night for about an hour. Somehow there are more opinions than there are people in the room. Some people think it's a joke. Others think it's somebody using Kayaba's image to scare people. Most take it at face value. Thinker asks, "Is this even possible?"

What I think is, I'll agree with whatever Kazuto thinks.

And Kazuto says, "Is there any reason it can't be?"

"There are some pretty serious hardware limitations." Thinker's name is spot on. You want to know anything about a VRMMO, he's the man to ask. He even runs a VRMMO database website for a living. "I mean, most of the official information on Sugou's research is classified, but from what's been released and from what we know ourselves, it can't work on anything but the obsolete FullDive gear models, and even then maybe only in laboratory conditions."

He's said what everybody wants to hear: that everything is just fine the way it is. It's what I want to believe. Kazuto asks, "Is there a chance that was really Kayaba?"

Thinker sits back. He's trying not to glance at his wife Yulier, who looks like she's prepared to jump on a grenade for him. "I doubt it. If he successfully uploaded his consciousness onto the net—which I still don't believe—then yeah, I guess there's a chance. But probably not."

"Only probably?"

Thinker looks at his bottle in an effort to pretend he isn't really looking at Yulier, and says, "I need another drink."

"Did Kayaba ever lie? He didn't always tell the whole truth, but did he ever outright lie to us?"

Raising his empty bottle, Thinker calls out, "Agil, Scotch. Three fingers. Neat."

"Did he?" Kazuto asks, and he's addressing everybody.

Nobody answers, but nobody has to. Kazuto doesn't talk about what happened to him in the game often—at least not with me—but when he does, it's scary. Not because he could have died. He didn't, and the past is done with. He scares me because the few times I've heard him talk about Kayaba, he can't hide the faint twinge in his voice that sounds like respect.

Kazuto slides off of his stool and moves closer to the gathered crowd. Agil can quiet an audience because he's big. Kazuto doesn't need size. He has more status than everybody else in the room combined. "He didn't. If that really was Kayaba—" he turns towards Thinker "—who I know for a fact succeeded, then what he said was credible."

And I want him to be wrong so bad that I open my mouth for the first time of the night and say, "If that really was Kayaba."

Only when I say it, it comes out ugly. It sounds harsh, and passive-aggressive, and it stops Kazuto in place. The way he looks right now, I've only seen it once before—the night I found out he was Kirito.

It's only for a moment, but everybody notices. Kazuto looks more surprised than anyone. He was probably counting on me to back him up. Figured I'd be on his side. The worst part about it all is, I am. "I believe it," he says, "but it doesn't matter whether it was really him or not. The point is that it's possible. If there's even a small chance that this is real, we have to do it."

A few people nod. Most just keep watching. Kazuto gets back up on his stool. "Thinker, has there been any discussion about this on your forums?"

Thinker doesn't answer, so Yulier says, "More than a few threads, yeah." She speaks cautiously, like her words are soldiers walking through a minefield, and swallows hard. Then she swallows a swig of Scotch that she steals from her husband's glass. "Mostly rumors. People making up stories. But some of the basics corroborate."

"Like?"

Her fingers pound against the bar like Salamander battle drums. "The area is open to everybody. People who have been up there say getting hit feels like a static shock. Nothing serious, and not really pain, but uncomfortable enough that you notice it. Anybody who's died can't get back in. Stuff like that."

Asuna leans forward. "Stuff like that? Meaning there's more?"

"That whole thing about still being able to log out, that was true. But only mostly true."

"What do you mean?"

The way Yulier and Thinker are going through that drink, they'll dry the bar if we stay for another hour. "You can log out, but only in designated safe zones. That's the main city on each floor. Once you step outside that, you have to make it back before you can leave. Any area outside of the safe zone restricts the use of warp stones."

What sounds like an earthquake is everybody groaning. "So we have to travel on foot."

"Not necessarily. Sword Art Online's engine served as the base for Alfheim. When this new version of Aincrad was programmed, a lot of the mechanics were merged. We keep our wings. Magic, too. We had those last night, and it doesn't look like they've been removed for the rest of the castle."

Asuna looks like she's about to say something, but Kazuto jumps in and asks, "Your source for all of this—is it reliable?"

Yulier laughs the kind of laugh you let out when something isn't funny. "It's a public gaming forum, Kirito. I don't believe any of it."

Before he can respond, Asuna switches in. Even in the real world, their teamwork is top notch. "Why would he keep the merged mechanics like that? That's something programmers added after the World Seed was released. He said the remaining floors would play out similarly to what they would have originally, and his original vision was supposed to be completed without flight or magic."

"Why would he trap 10,000 people in a video game?" Yulier asks. "Why would he kill the people who died in game? He's insane. It's not supposed to make sense."

"If it's really him," Thinker repeats, and then returns to his drink.

And Yulier is wrong, because it makes perfect sense. I don't understand how they can't see it. "It's The World Tree," I say.

"What?"

"The Grand Quest in Alfheim." I'd spent months working towards completing that quest. When I started playing VRMMOs, it was for Kazuto. After playing for a few months, I wanted to win. "The way Kayaba was talking, it sounds like only one person can win his prize. A lot of people play Alfheim just so they can fly, but when you look at everything the game has deep player versus player mechanics. That's really the point of the game—you have to fight the other races to climb The World Tree, and only one race can win. Whatever it is Kayaba has planned for the top of the castle, he wants us to kill each other for it."

Kazuto jumps off of his stool so fast I almost believe he has wings. "No," he says, and his face looks so hard that I can imagine it breaking somebody's bones just by looking at it. "We're not playing like that. I don't know why Kayaba is doing this, but if people will get hurt, we're not fighting them."

"I'm not saying we should, I'm just saying—"

"We know this game better than anybody," he continues. "We'll just have to race everybody else to the top. We've got plenty of people here, and even more who live outside of the city. We can schedule it out so that we've always got people from our group working towards clearing."

He really is inspiring. The way he stands up there and lays out his plans, I think he's more like our grandfather than he'd ever admit. He can order an entire room of people to jump into a dungeon without a pain dampener, and have them smiling for it.

He can also stab you in the heart without ever realizing it. I say, "Ok."

He's pacing in front of the crowd, and I wonder if the rest of the people in the room see Kazuto or Kirito. Then I wonder if there's a difference. "Thinker, start looking into that hardware issue. Everybody else, let's meet up in the Floor 77 safe zone at eleven tonight. There's nothing we can figure out about what's going on or why Kayaba—"

"If it is Kayaba," Thinker says.

"—is doing this until we can see it for ourselves. Get the message to everybody who couldn't make it here. Unless there's anything else that needs discussed right now, we'll meet back up tonight."

And of course there's more. As soon as Kazuto stops talking everybody else starts. People want to know everything from what Thinker's forums say to why Kayaba would grant somebody the power to alter souls to what the hardware specifications are for the FullDive gear. All I needed to know was when we were going to start, so I tune it all out.

While everybody else is talking about, I don't know what, I'm looking through the menu on my table. It's clear people come to Agil's cafe for the drinks instead of the food. No wonder the place is always empty before sunset.

I read through that menu a few times, but then I think back to how Kazuto's face looked when I called him out. The first time I saw it, he'd hurt me. Betrayed me. This time, I was the one holding the knife in his back.

He was counting on my support. We'd talked about it last night after logging out. And I still managed to cut him at the knees.

I'm sure Asuna wouldn't have questioned whether it was Kayaba or not. I don't think she cares. If she's like me, she'll go with Kazuto no matter what. So what's different about us that I can't win against? We both love the same man. We're both good people. Kind. Dedicated. We're friends.

If we're not fighting, then why am I losing?

I sit there, pretending to look at the menu but really thinking about Kazuto, until Agil steps over to my table and asks, "What's going on, Leafa?"

When I look up, the cafe is almost empty. How long had I been sitting there? The meeting is over, and only a few people stuck around. Klein and his buddies ordered themselves a round of shots, and he's standing over the table like a lord while he makes a toast. Eugene bought Alicia another drink, and they're sitting in a corner booth together talking about whatever it is they're talking about. Kazuto and Asuna are gone. "It's Suguha."

"Sorry," Agil says. "I get used to everybody's character names. Hard not to use them out here."

I imagine that if you knew him as Kirito for two years, then as far as you were concerned that really would be his real name. That was another difference between me and the veterans. To me, he's always been Kazuto. "Yeah."

"Are you doing alright?"

I don't want to talk about it, so I look down at the menu. "I don't understand veggie burgers. What's the point of a burger without the meat?"

Agil says, "I haven't known you that long, but you don't strike me as the quiet type. Your brother told us all about you, too. Is everything alright?"

Part of me doesn't want him meddling. Kazuto told me all about Agil, too. About how he spent a fortune in game to help other players level through. It's in his nature to be concerned, but I don't want it. The other part of me is thinking about how he called Kazuto my brother. "I mean, I guess if you were allergic to meat or something, then sure. But ordering a veggie burger by choice? Can you be allergic to meat?"

"Listen, I—"

"A burger sounds great about now. With everything on it."

"Look, Leafa, all—"

"Suguha."

I correct him so he knows I'm listening. So maybe he'll get the hint and let me be for a few more minutes. But he's so driven to help that he'll try it even when it's not wanted. "I don't want to bother you. If you don't want to talk, just tell me. You weren't at your best last night, and you haven't been yourself today. I wanted to make sure you were alright."

I can't bring myself to ignore him anymore, so I push the menu aside. What I don't want to admit is that I haven't been myself. Not since Asuna woke up. "I'm sorry, Agil, I just—"

"Andrew."

I ask, "What?"

"Andrew Gilbert Mills," he says. "For as long as you insist on being called Suguha, at least."

Andrew Gilbert. Agil. Like how Kirito sounds like Kazuto, it seems Asuna wasn't the only person whose character was inspired by their real name. "Can I ask you something, Andrew?"

He shrugs. "Go ahead."

"Do you think we can do it?"

He's enormous, but his smile makes him look like the friendliest man on Earth. "Of course," he says. "We got through the game once. We know what we need to do. We're a strong team. We'll make it to the top."

I'm not worried about that. Kazuto is a hero. He beat Sword Art Online. He won the impossible quest in Alfheim and then killed the administrator. If it were just our group, he'd get us to the top, no problem.

Andrew is still smiling, but I'm looking past him. There, in the back of the bar, is the counter his wife spent two years working behind to keep his dream alive. How much had she sacrificed to keep this place running? "I mean the way he wants it done. Without killing any of the other players."

Andrew doesn't answer, but his silence tells me exactly what he thinks. The smile is gone. He sighs, and looks at me square in the face and says, "Let me go get you that burger."


	3. The Safe Zone

**Chapter 3: The Safe Zone**

What's so incredible about VRMMOs is that you can't distinguish them from the real world. Everything you can sense in real life, you can feel online. If I walk down a virtual staircase, I can feel my hand sliding across the metal handrail. If I walk out into a virtual snow storm, I feel cold. If I walk through a virtual desert, I feel hot.

When I log into a virtual city full of other players, I still feel lonely.

The city is called Themiscyra, and it's Floor 77's safe zone. All the buildings have domed roofs, and there are all kinds of pillars and columns holding them up.

The streets are filled with people. A lot of them are other players. It's clear that most of them are just here to check the place out—their armor is about thirty levels too low for the floor—but there are groups here and there that look like they could survive an encounter or three. If push came to shove, I could take them down no problem. But why am I even thinking about that?

The time is 10:45—fifteen minutes before we're scheduled to meet—but already people are gathering. I've been waiting here for ten minutes. Kirito and Asuna have been here an hour. Recon just logged in, and he asks me, "Have you started that algebra homework yet?"

What's so amazing about VRMMO's is that when something incredible happens in game, the real world takes a back seat. Whenever you log in, there's this server message that pops up. It covers your whole field of view. The message reads:

**WE HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR ADVENTURES IN ALFHEIM, BUT DON'T NEGLECT YOUR ADVENTURES IN JAPAN. BE SURE TO TAKE REGULAR BREAKS. YADA YADA YADA. SO ON AND SO FORTH. PLEASE DON'T SUE US.**

The truth is, I haven't touched my algebra homework. I'm not going to do it. It just doesn't seem important compared to what's happening here on the net. Most things from the real world don't. When that disclaimer pops up in my field of view I skip through it, because when my options are between being lonely and miserable in the real world, or being lonely and miserable in a world where I can have wings, I'm choosing flight. Every time. I don't know a soul who wouldn't.

About that homework, I tell Recon, "Did it this afternoon."

He says something about how smart I am. How dedicated. I don't want to listen. I love Recon—he's one of my best friends. The way he sees me, though, it's like I'm a fine set of china in a quarantine zone. Like I'm the one linoleum tile on the kitchen floor that isn't all scuffed to Hell. That stuff he says about me, it isn't true. He's stupid for thinking it.

And I wonder, the way I think of Recon—is that how Kazuto sees me?

More of our friends start logging in. First Lisbeth, then Sakuya, then Eugene. Klein and his friends log in, and before the last of them show up they're already setting up rules for figuring out who buys the first round of beers when the night is over. Rules like, anybody who gets killed pays for the whole night, or, first one to wimp out because it hurts buys the local liquor store's top shelf rum.

What's funny is, when they're off getting plastered, I know what they'll be talking about—the game. Even with the logout functions restored, nobody ever really leaves. It's not that there's some madman locking you in the game, or that you're being held against your will. It's your will that's the problem. When you're shown a world where you can fly and use magic and adventure any time you want, you can't just push a button and go back to whatever dead-end job you've got waiting for you back in the real world. All that time you're sitting at a desk pushing pencils, you're imagining they're swords. You think, if I finish my algebra homework, maybe I'll level up.

Then you realize there's no quest reward for algebra. That homework is just the next stepping stone between pretending those numbers you write in the math equations are magic runes and pretending that those digits you type into a spreadsheet are some sacred language. Everything becomes the game, and why would you ever want to imagine it when you could actually live it?

With all those lines blurring between what's the real world and what's online, it only bothers me more that I get so pissy when people call me by the wrong name. Call me Suguha when I'm logged in, I'll PK you on the spot. Call me Leafa outside the game, I won't talk to you for a week.

When I first started playing, it was because I was embarrassed. I didn't want anybody to know Suguha was moonlighting as some nerd fantasy fairy princess. That was back when logged off life was the only 'real' life. As I kept playing things changed. Now when I get upset about the name thing, it's because I'm ashamed. I don't want anybody to know that brave, dedicated Leafa is really just some petty, love-struck teenage girl with no real ambition besides pining for her stepbrother, who she watches fall madly in love with a woman she knows is better than her in any way that counts.

I was never even a national keno finalist.

While I'm counting all the ways she's better for him than I am, Asuna walks over with Kirito and says, "Hey Leafa. Recon. You guys ready?"

And honestly, I've been doing nothing but waiting for this all day, so I rest my hand on my sword's pommel, and I smile, and I say, "I haven't been outside of the city yet. How big are the zones in this tower?"

"About the same as last night." She looks down the street, but we're in the middle of town and can't see outside of the safe zone. "I wouldn't worry too much. We've kept all of our stats, and even improved a bit in Alfheim, so unless there's a huge difficulty spike we'll be a little over-leveled for this floor. If we split up into smaller parties and spread out, we'll find the boss room in no time."

"We're splitting up?" Already I'm trying to figure out how I can get myself in Kirito's party.

"We're on a time limit. Plus we've got to make it to the top before anybody else does. Quicker we clear the better."

I look at Recon, and he edges closer to me. I can tell we're going to be a package deal. I ask, "Did you want me to lead a party?" and I'm hoping she says no.

"That'd be great." Asuna looks surprised, and a little disappointed. "If you really wanted to, I mean." She steps back. The way she's trying not to get caught glancing at the ground, it doesn't seem like she knows what to say. "Actually, I was kind of hoping you'd party up with us. Recon, too."

That was all I wanted to hear. It was a direct invite to Kirito's party. No beating around the bush or side-stepping necessary. Really, I'm not sure why I thought I'd need to play games to get in. I've got to be at the top of the list of people he wants in his party—well, at least second on the list. All I'd ever need to do is ask.

I want to say, 'yes,' or, 'sounds good to me,' or, 'send us the invites,' but all I can manage is, "Really?"

"Of course." She looks a mix of genuine and vulnerable that I can't help but love. "Everyone's really freaked out about what's going on, but this doesn't all have to suck. If you guys come with us, it might even be a little fun. Be like a family outing or something."

Family. She's talking like we're sisters. In a way, maybe we are. The danger of losing sight of which world really matters is, when everybody sees the virtual world as their real life, does a marriage in game mean more than a marriage outside of it? "Sounds like fun."

"Great!" She smiles. Kirito is smiling, too. "Let me send you that invite."

I want to be happy, but all I can think is, Is my brother really married? "Thanks for the offer, but I think it'd be better if we didn't."

I tell myself it's better if we're not all grouped up. I'm just going to be watching Asuna and Kirito, and I won't be focused on what's supposed to matter. The fact that all night I've been thinking about Kirito instead of Kayaba is a red flag in itself. And watching them do their routine together, with how perfect they flow with one another, that would just suck. It seems obvious to me that we're better off in separate parties, but from the look on their faces, they don't see it. Kirito looks at me and says, "Leafa?"

"We'll catch up soon." I mean that. Ever since all of this started, it feels like I haven't said more than a few words to him. He's always been on my mind, but never really there with me. That's my fault as much as his. "I just think it's better if we've got our best leading teams out there."

"Modest as ever." He laughs. "You're right, though. I couldn't think of a better party leader. You taking Recon?"

I nod.

"You've got first pick of whoever else you want to take," he continues. "We've got Yui, so we'll be alright with any team."

That was a bit of an understatement. Even without Yui, Kirito and Asuna could probably make it to the boss room with just the two of them. Add Yui on and it's overkill. With all the changes to the zones on the tower's re-release, and with Kayaba taking control of the servers, she couldn't access the administrative functions or pinpoint the stairway to the next floor, but she was still handy to have around. "I'll go gather the troops then."

Just about everybody has logged into town. With as many people as we've got, I don't know everybody's name. I can pick out the players from Alfheim, but some of the Sword Art survivors here look like new faces to me. I'm sure I'll meet them later, but for tonight I want people I know can fight.

I already have Recon. I ride him in fights like a backseat driver, but when it comes down to the wire, I trust him more than just about anyone to have my back. My next go-to player is Sakuya, but she's already putting her own group together. I assume that means Alicia is taken, but when I look around she still has her flag up. I wave her down and ask, "Not taking your Dragon Riders out tonight?"

She looks sheepish, but laughs anyway. "No. Letting some new Staff Sergeants take the reins. Want to see how they work under pressure, you know?"

I'm good enough at making up pretense to know when it's shoveled my way, but I don't press her. "Party?"

"Yeah!"

Her ears perk up when I send her the invite, and for a moment I wonder if she can manipulate them the same way players control their wings. The ears relax for a moment, and then they tense. "Hey," she says, "can I make a really weird request?"

"What is it?"

"You're going to have to trust me on this one."

"Sure."

Her ears are pressed so flat against her head they almost disappear. "Send an invite Eugene's way. We're trying to sort things out between our races, you know? I figure this might be a good opportunity to set things a little straighter than they've been."

That explains why she didn't join Sakuya's party. I don't know Alicia outside of the game, and even in game we're only friends through Sakuya, but from what I've seen of her she's cool. I'm still pretty sure this is all pretense. "Didn't he try to assassinate you?"

She shrugs. "Politics, right?"

What I figure is that politics don't really matter in Aincrad. Salamander or Sylph or Cait Sith, it doesn't make a difference what race you are—only one player can win. Racial allegiances are a handicap.

Eugene isn't a bad choice. He wouldn't have been my first pick on a personal level, but having a Salamander in our party really would help. Especially one as skilled as Eugene. He's to combat what Yui is to navigation—overkill.

I send him an invite, and he accepts within a few seconds. Recon's looking at me like I'm trying to pet a wild animal, but the sooner we all get over who is playing what race the better. The politics don't matter.

At least, that's what I'm telling myself. On review, my entire party is made up of Alfheim players. We don't have a single Sword Art veteran with us. The politics still matter, it's just now it isn't about Salamander versus Sylph—it's about segregating ourselves between Alfheim players and Sword Art players. "We've still got two slots," I say. "Anybody else you guys want to pick up?"

Recon shakes his head. Alicia says, "All you from here."

Eugene floats over to our group, and when he lands he's standing the closest I've ever been to him. The guy really is a monster. For all that muscle, he's a flat out solid wall of pain dealing and Sylph-slaying. He says, "I think it would be best if we leave our group as it is."

Recon looks at Eugene's sword and takes a step back. "You want to go out as a four-man? We've got room for two more. Wouldn't it be best if we went out with the strongest group we could get."

Even though Alicia asked me to trust her, part of me is thinking, What if he's still an assassin? He says, "That's right. We want the strongest group." If he's noticed Recon eying his sword, he doesn't say anything about it. "But what we want is the strongest group as a whole—not just individual parties. Right now we have the best Cait Sith, two of the top Sylph warriors, and—" without a hint of gloating "—the strongest individual player in the game. We're already stronger than most full parties."

The Salamanders are only the deadliest race in Alfhiem in part because they have more players and better offensive magic than the other races. If that was all they had, though, they would have been wiped pretty quickly by an alliance of other races. What they really have going for them is leadership. Nobody else is even in the same league as them when it comes to strategy and tactics, and Eugene's the top of the class when it comes to winning a battle before it even starts. I've always wondered if he's some kind of JSDF officer in real life.

With the four of us together, we don't really need any more firepower. Anybody else we grab is just going to take a player away from a party that actually needs a stat boost. As it stands, our four-man could take down some small alliances. If all we're going on is a scouting mission, there's no point in loading for bear. "Alright. I guess we're set to go then."

By five after eleven, everybody is partied up. Kirito calls everybody together to run down the rules. Everyone seems to be alright with him being the de facto leader. His rules are pretty simple. We're just out on reconnaissance—look for the boss door, and report in if you find it. Don't engage. Each party gets a grid on the map to search. We can't cover the whole map tonight, but be thorough with what you've been assigned.

His final rule is don't engage other players. It's the only one I don't understand. Killing other players while the pain absorber is still set pretty high cuts down on competition while inflicting as little pain as possible. But he's adamant about it.

I don't know what happened to him in Sword Art Online, but there's got to be something about killing other players that I'm missing.

When we've all been given a grid to search, the parties leave town to get their jobs done. Our own grid is in the far south-western corner of the map. We watch the other parties mosey through town and out of sight, and I take one last look around the street. The other players don't take much notice of us, but I can't help but wonder if the area outside of the safe zone is going to be a free for all. I wonder, Is it really going to hurt? "Let's get going."

Alicia and Recon look antsy. Eugene doesn't say anything, but he's got his hand resting on his sword in a way that makes it look like he's about to draw. Recon's still got one eye on that sword, but he nods and says, "Yes ma'am," and leads us out of the safe zone.


End file.
